Who You Are At Home…

I know I have been taking a break recently from writing about spiritual disciplines, but rest assured I will return to those!  For now, I still want to focus on a few more practical things for the classy lady we all want to be. We have covered what makes up a classy woman — but the truth is, a woman is only as beautiful as she is in her own home.  Facts are, I have a lot of improvement in this area.  This covers not only her physical presentation, but also her attitude (uh oh!) and her overall personality with those closest to her. 

When I get home from work, the first thing I want to do is change.  As a receptionist, appearance has some importance, so I am usually in a skirt or dress pants and a fancy blouse and heels.  At home, I want to put on my sweatpants and slouch around in comfort.  However, as I was reading Beautiful Woman by Anne Ortlund, I saw that she put some emphasis throughout the book on looking nice for her husband and family. 

It’s easy to want to get ‘comfortable’, but in being comfortable I think we all too often sacrifice an acceptable appearance.  It doesn’t take too much work to look nice for the family as well as the public. A girl who has a priority of looking nice at home will continue with it when she is married — and although some days won’t be perfect, especially when the babies come, she is showing her family respect by dressing to please them.   Also, often men marry women with the mistaken idea that they look the way they do all the time… and of course, that isn’t true!  They will get to see the good, the bad and the ugly often enough.  But those instances can indeed be lessened, and he will get the blessing of seeing the woman he married smiling and lovely almost every time he comes home.

As for attitude, that is another task entirely.  Yet the same principles apply.  If we are kind and friendly in public, why aren’t we that way at home?  If our fiance’ sees us cheerful and glad every day before we marry, what is our presentation afterward?  A terrible surprise?  A godly woman is genuine no matter where she goes or who she is with.  As Elizabeth George says —

Who you are at home is who you are.



6 Responses

  1. Dear Phylicia,
    I like your take on who you are at home is who you are. It is like the Lord makes known in His word something like the deeds of the heart come out of the mouth (something of that nature). What we are on the inside is what we really are. The funny thing is that we all have some ugly in there that God is cleaning out. Like an attic that hasn’t been dusted in months or years. So occasionally that has to be dusted out and that is okay. But recognize that if that is all you act like…always yelling at my kids or doing chorse not taking care of the home (two completely different mind sets for cleaning the toilet and doing laundry again) then that will shine through your eyes when you meet someone new in church or at a mommy and me thing. It is amazing what you see in a persons eyes. *smile* I suppose what I am trying to say is, I agree, who we are at home is really who we are. I may yell and holler now and then (no matter how hard I try to keep my cool when my children throw ANOTHER fit or break a rule they already know and have fallowed for several months) but to know that I will go to my Father and ask for forgiveness and then to the children to tell them Mommy goofed and God has forgiven her will they also forgive Mommy. That is very important. To know that you can grow and have ugly moments at home but keep growing and never give up on what God can do with you. *smile*

    Be yourself no matter who you are around and let them see the God in you no matter how humbleing an experiance it is. *smile* You will grow and in some way they will as well. *smile*

    Blessings, -me- (Mommy of two little blessings)

  2. Wow, This really hits home… I certainly am negligent in this area. Today wasn’t the best day on that note. I really never saw the importance of looking nice at home. I don’t tend to even get dressed unless I’m told. (or unless I am going somewhere). But, wow. It really is important. Thank you for this post (and the last couple as well)

  3. I was just talking about this kind of thing with the Lord, and I’m grateful that He let me read this today.

  4. Ouch! That’s convicting! It’s definetly opened up my eyes to things I need to work on! God has really been doing a work in my heart about my tongue and I realized that’s another thing that I scarifice when I’m home. I talk to my friends and to strangers differently than I speak to my family. I know it’s not right but my guard isn’t up at home and I don’t feel as though I need to keep up a certain image.
    Thanks for offering suce godly encouragement!

  5. What a great post…

    Just to let you know, I tagged you over at my blog. 🙂

  6. I just wrote a blog about this as well! I was looking for pictures and that is how I came across yours. I really like your last sentence.

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