Holding Out for the Fairy Tale

There was a certain girl I knew from when I was in kindergarten forward, and we had grown up knowing each other somewhat distantly.  We didn’t do a lot together, because she was older than me, but we interacted enough that I knew how she was doing and what she was up to, as aquaintances usually do.  She had a boyfriend in high school, and had planned to continue the relationship when she graduated — but only weeks after her open house, he dumped her.  I watched her then go through several hair color changes, and several more boyfriends.  We never knew when one relationship began or ended.  While she had remained pure in the prior relationship, she had given away her kiss.  Now she was left with a broken heart, searching for someone to put the pieces back together.  No one stayed long enough to finish the repairs, instead leaving her heart in even more shatters.  For her, fairy tales don’t come true.

That girl is just one example of thousands. 

To choose not to date in high school, and even afterward, it perhaps the most absurd thing people can try to comprehend in this day and age.  They cannot fathom why you wouldn’t, and how you would ‘meet anyone’ outside of their idea of relational correspondence.  Perhaps one the silliest things to me is the fact that these very same people are in anguish over the rates of teen pregnancy and date rape, and are upset over sexually promisicuous teenagers and abortion — yet they cannot understand that letting two young, hot-blooded people go out alone together could be the cause of it. 

The girls who choose to save their bodies for their future mate are often applauded for their wonderful contribution to society.  We are indeed a minority.  But the girls who take it a step further — those who choose to save their hearts — they are the ones who are often greeted with scorn.  They are ‘naive’ and ‘too pure’; ‘prudish’ and ‘inexperienced’.   Their commitment is often viewed by the world as a result of fear of men or relationships — when truly, this commitment is the result of a love for one man, and the protection of the wonderful relationship a woman will have with him. 

The world will mock.  They want no part of purity, for light and darkness cannot have fellowship with one another.  They want solutions for their problems — for unwanted babies, teen mothers and physically involved young people — but they don’t want to do what it takes to achieve that solution.  It takes too much.  It makes you different.  Yet those girls who have chosen Christ have already made the decision to be ‘different’.  Being different is their lifestyle.  Walking in purity is just one facet of the ultimate commitment they have already made. 

God has our lives in the palm of his hand.  He knows that walking in purity, going against the grain of society, turning down dates — it won’t be easy.  Singleness in truth is not a ‘gift’, but a trial.  Gifts are gladly received and usually don’t entail any pain in the receiving.  Trials are what show you for who you truly are.   Trials test you, push you, stretch you and finally mold you into the person that you need to become for God to use you to your full potential. 

So hold tightly to Him.  Trust Him to bring things about in His own time.  I have to learn this right now.  But even in the waiting, never lose faith.  Keep holding out for the fairy tale.  With God, they do come true.


7 Responses

  1. Great post, Phy! I like the picture!

  2. Wow… that’s good stuff, Phy!!! You were so right when you said ‘But the girls who take it a step further — those who choose to save their hearts – they are the ones who are often greeted with scorn.’ I have had so many people not able to understand my standards concerning dating, and sometimes I wish that I was ‘normal’ and dated. But I know that whatever (or whoever) that He has for me will be well worth the wait!!! Thank you for being such an encouragment.

  3. But what does the Bible say about trials? We are told to be joyful under affliction, for the testing of our faith develops perseverance. So in some ways, trials also are a gift from God.

    Even as a homeschooler, I know that of the 425 students at the local high school, 5 of them are pregnant. All of them freshman.

    This idea of waiting is definitely not one the world likes.


  4. I really enjoyed this post!
    Have you ever read “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua
    Harris? The amount I’ve read has been REALLY good! You might also enjoy Tommy Nelson’s “Song of Solomon” video series.

    P.S. Thanks for stopping by the other day.

    Tommy Nelson’s site for this series: http://www.songofsolomon.com/SOS_Series.asp
    It’s Amazing!

  5. Wonderful. To be encouraging young ladies to be just that, a young lady. Keep up the words of encouragements. Making it a point to know that we are supposed to be different from the world is WONDERFUL!

    Boy, I have a lot of things that come to mind on this topic line that you have going right now and have only slightly touched on each part. Know that it is quite important to quart and not date. To quart is to look at the gentleman and ask yourself, does he fear God? Are you willing to submit to his authority? Does he put God above all else, even you? Will he be a good daddy to children should the Lord bless you with some? Watch how he treats EVERYONE around him. Not just you and your family, but everyone. Does he stop to help the lady on the side of the road? Does he willingly help some one change a tire even in the pooring down rain? Remember that merriage is for life and we need to treat it as such. There are several ladies that really want to be married and have children. Keep in mind that merriage is A LOT more than kids and holidays. It is life, hopefully with the one you love. There are hard times and there are really good times. When God is first in line for you both, things will work out fine. Even when you get mad, God will open your eyes to the joy of your husband.

    So, yes. Keep your whole body pure, not just your “special” spot. *smile* Focus on God from the start and trust in Him to give you what He knows is best. Think of all the things you can do in God’s family where you are right now. It is amazing how a mommy of two little blessings is having a hard time finding her knich, but before kids of my own, I worked with other peoples kids and now, they will still hang out with me. So, my place is clearly to work with kids. Rather than wish for what your sister-in-Christ has, be thankful for where you are and know that God is in control of it all. *smile*

    Better close for now. Going all different ways with my thoughts and only touching on the main topic. Have a wonderful day Phylicia. *smile*

    Sincerely,-me- (Mommy of two little blessings)

  6. Great post! i always love reading your blog. It’s always just what I need.

  7. Hi Phylicia,

    I’m so pleased with your writings and a very nice peering into your heart. Keep up the good work.

    Even after 18 years of marriage and 7 kids have I ever regretted not kissing my husband before we were married. What a legacy in this day and age. I used to feel weird about it even though I knew it was right. Now I pass this legacy onto my children. Although at times it seems a bit hard, it really is not, it is a commitment to a Holy and loving Father. Purity is good for us God knows what He is doing. With Purity in heart and mind we can have no regrets. God loves us with all His commands He has our best in His heart.

    So live with no regrets and continue to choose purity. You will be blessed for it with a clean and pure conscience.

    Love you Phy,

    Aunt Shireen

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