Speak Softly, Love

Cross Pointe Speech

Speaking on Flirtation

In a sexual culture, in which dating is extremely physical and the constant barrage of music and television only encourage such behavior, people really do seek an alternative.  At the same time, however, they are prepared to doubt and shoot down any idea they view as ‘too extreme’.  They will want results — but not sacrifice.

When talking about purity to and in the world, we cannot present the message as we can to our fellow Christian girls.  Christians have the responsibility to walk in purity: thus, when speaking to girls who have made the committment to Christ and to keep themselves pure, I challenge them.  They know the facts, they know the answers, they know what to do — now it is up to them to keep on track.  I don’t need to pussy-foot around them, because they are strong enough to stand on their own.

Girls of the world, however sad it may sound, are innocent of purity.  They know nothing of modesty, true femininity, or the beauty of a pure heart.  Their hardened faces and hearts are the product of pain and anguish that those of us raised in Christian homes may have never experienced.  What I see happening, too often, is a lack of compassion from ‘the pure girls’ for those who know no better.

Legalism.  Arrogance.  A haughty face and whispered words.  Unwillingness to greet the ‘immodest girl’ who attends church for the first time.  These are not attributes of the beautiful, loving woman God desires us to be, and even worse, there is nothing attractive about the ‘pure girl’ who possesses these attitudes.  Why would someone want any part of that for himself?

When I was twelve we left the church we had attended all my life.  My parents were married there.  Following that came a period of three years where we church-hopped, seeking one that fit our family.  As we went church to church, I went to only one where a girl approached me and asked my name.  Only one.  When we finally found a church of our own, I resolved to be that girl — no matter how uncomfortable it was.  I had hated the feeling of lonliness, watching the little cliques moving about the sanctuary, without hope of breaking in.  I didn’t want other girls to feel that way.

Now I ask you girls — and guys too — are you presenting a message of purity as unattainable?  Are you making purity seem arrogant, undesirable, and unapproachable?  Those weighed down by a guilty conscience will be looking for ways to judge and condemn the walk of purity.  Give them no reason to condemn!  Kindness and love go much further than legalism and a false sense of pride.  Remember, we are all sinners.  Left to myself I would probably be just like those ‘other’ girls.  Out of this recognition, I can maintain a spirit of compassion.

Compassion influences our actions and our words.  If there is one thing I have learned, it is that a condescending message turns away our society faster than you can say Sam Hill.  In countering this, many pastors and teachers make the mistake of watering down the message itself to tickle the ears of listeners.  This is wrong!  The message must remain the same — but the messenger, and the presentation, may change to fit the listener and the situation.

So many young men and women need to know the alternative to what they suffer through.  They don’t have answers, or hope, or a future — and we can give them all that.  Give kindly… and speak softly, with love.

“Say to the daughter of Zion, “Behold, your salvation comes; behold, His reward is with Him, and His recompense before Him.  And they shall be called the Holy People, The Redeemed of the Lord, and you shall be called Sought Out, A City Not Forsaken.””  (Is. 62:11-12)


2 Responses

  1. I am with you on the whole, showing God’s love to those around you. One little thing to keep in mind is that just because someone says they are fallowing Christ doesn’t mean they are ready for the message straight as an arrow, some in the body still need the gloves on when receiveing the truth. Take caution when sharing what we know to be true. I have been making the mistake of thinking when someone tells me they are Christian I can now speak freely of the truth be both believe, and that is not what they want to hear rather they want to hear what they think they are ready to hear.
    Back to your origonal topic though, this whole CLICK thing in the church, however normal and excepted, is not okay in God’s eyes to be sure. How can we show oneanother that we are there for eachother when we doin’t make the time to speak to anyone but those we know best. Think outside Sunday people. There is a whole week to catch up with those dearest to us. Try to notice when there is a sad set of EYES in the congrigation. See if you can share God’s joy with them at least on Sunday morning. Maybe you will be one friend richer in the end. *smile*
    Winter blessings.-me-(Mommy of two little blessings)

  2. Hi Phylicia,
    So true…and so challenging! I struggle with this attitude of self-righteousness at times…and I know that I can only improve in that area with His help….isn’t it SO relieving that He never gives up on us!!!??!!

    I just discovered your blog and I am bookmarking it… 🙂


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