Bridge Over Troubled Water

A troubled heart is one weighed with worry, or guilt.  It is a heart that is not free to enjoy life because of concern and anxiety.  A troubled mind is one consumed with thoughts that distract and dismay.  A troubled soul is one that is not right with God, and also man.  Troubles are caused by many things — and they affect each of us differently.  Often our troubles cease to simply be happening to us, but become us.  We become so consumed with our troubles that we become rather troublesome ourselves.

I have been a troublesome friend in the past.  I was conceited and contentious, always insisting on my own opinion as correct.  I was proud and selfish, seeking only my own gain and others’ attention.  I never let lie — I pursued, and prodded, and pushed with tongue and action.  I put up a facade of security, but deep down, I was very insecure.  I took out this trouble on all those who had the unfortunate circumstance of crossing paths with me. 

These habits of my lifestyle are not stowed in the archives of my ‘testimony’, meant to make you all marvel at how I have conquered them.  Yesterday I revived several of these vices in my own home.  I failed.  So I think:  why did I fail?  Why did I become troublesome?  I realized that it is because I let the troubles be my thermometer of emotion.  Rather than cast them on Christ, I held them close to my heart, which in turn made my heart a dark and dank place to venture.

Even in my troublesome nature, there have been friends who have endured.  These are the friends who somehow built a bridge over my troubles and crossed from their heart to mine, giving when I wasn’t worth giving to.  When I was angry, and ready to burn any bridge in sight, they built one anyway — because they are true friends.  They don’t depend on my emotions, my troubles, to dictate their own.  They love no matter what.

As I see my own actions, and then view theirs, I can see what sacrifices these people made in their friendship, or family relationship, to me.   Even while they let me rage and crash like a hurricane-ridden sea, they had the courage to build a bridge to me, and keep a connection — even when I have been less of a friend, daughter, or sister I could have been.

Those closest to us know when to build the bridge, even when we are emotionally disraught.  Their love is unconditional, and their faith, enduring.  I only hope I can be like them in the smallest way.

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